Grief has taught me so many things. It has given me a new lens that I view my life. The rose colored glasses have come off, but they weren’t replaced with a darkened version, like some may think. The rose color was removed so all the light could shine in. At times the light that shines in is bright, sharp, and intense- just as my grief can be. It also brings warmth, a glow in my heart, and has set my soul on fire to help others. You see this light has given me a new way of viewing my world. I hope I never lose this new view.
I know, I know get on with it lady, enough with the confusing light analogy. Ok, my new lens coupled with my heart to help others, has shown me many things in the past few years, especially as I have been speaking to others regarding my grief, my story. At first, I felt my grief story would be one that could help others through grieving. I was wrong. No, not that I didn’t want to help others that were grieving, but the fact that I could only help others with grief.
Grief is my journey that I share with others but the word “grief” is interchangeable with so many other life tragedies. I want those that are listening to me speak or reading what I write- to have “take aways” even if they are not grieving or have experienced loss. I want to share my lens with everyone (sorry last lens reference). I came to realize that we can apply resilience, finding joy, finding laughter, and living your best life to any “story.” My hope is others will see me as someone who has experienced tragedy and yet still finds joy, and it will help them find strength and encouragement to keep on going.
Tonight I spoke in a small group with three other women. All four of us had completely different journeys, different hardships, different tragedies but we had one commonality- that we chose joy despite despair. Trauma is trauma, my story isn’t yours, your story isn’t mine, but it’s what you do after the bad that counts the most. It’s the life you live after despair no matter what it is.
My hope is that if you have a story, you will share it. Even if it is just with one other person. You never know the connection or impact that you may have. Listen to your heart, it will lead you to those you need to help and lives that you can touch. We are all connected and sent to love and help one another.
As for me, I will keep sharing my story. Because in addition to changing the way I view my world, grief has taught me: I will never let the pain outweigh the good, I will never let the darkness consume the light, and if I help one person with my story- then I’m just gonna keep telling it! So take the rose colored glasses off- life isn’t perfect- it never will be. Let the bright light shine in. Be a magnifying glass, where when the light shines so bright- that you set a fire in others!
Life is short but sweet for certain- DMB
Every day I send you a hug. Every day. This is so selfish as I do not have your belief, your peace, your laughter, your love for life. I reach my hug to you across the miles and wait for your faith in God, and continuance, to flutter in.
I have faith in you, Katie. You are my hope