Ever tried to get three kids ready, out the door, on time, and look half-way decent, because you are taking family photos? Well, recently I found myself in this exact situation. Sweating, swearing, half dressed trying to curl my hair, baby still naked, not sure what the other two were doing, but surely not getting dressed- as the clocked ticked. My mind went into “feel sorry for myself” mode. Ugh… why do I have to do this by myself? I just wish I had someone to help? This is so unfair!
I was stressing myself out over silly family pictures. These photos were suppose be fun- capture we survived, are still laughing, smiling and are a family. They still could be? Right? I guess that depends on if you change your way of thinking about the situation. I could continue having my “poor me” moment or I could roll with the punches.
Of course, this is just an example, and maybe not a great one at that. But don’t they say it’s the “little things” that matter (don’t ask me who “they” are- I’m too tired to do research- remember the sweating and all the undressed children). Those little moments in life that pass you by that you wish that you could have back. I mean I’m probably not going to wish the sweating, swearing, trying to get ready moment back- that just sucked. But I did catch myself in that chaotic moment, stop, and say to myself- breath you can do this- this is nothing. Same goes for the moment an hour later, as my one-year old screamed and went “noodle-like” as we walked through the park trying to get to the next photo spot.
So what am I getting at here? Yes, it’s ok to be frustrated, but you can’t let the frustration(or anger or sadness-whatever your feeling is) take on a life of it’s own. Don’t keep the “poor me” philosophy. It really is so easy to do(remember I did it earlier today). After my husbands death, I found myself with a new perspective on life, one that I hoped that I wouldn’t forget. This new take on life was born of tragedy, but has taken on a life of it’s own. Gone are the days of worrying about nonsense, keeping up with the Joneses, or trying to make everyone happy. These new days, this new life, that I didn’t chose might I add, actually started to make sense. I swore to myself that no matter what, I would keep this new way of thinking and living. This new perspective, that I would not be blessed to have, without my terrible tragedy. I now am certain- Love conquers all.
At first, this perspective was easy to keep in the forefront of my mind. What I have found, as his death date gets further and further away, and I as I find myself adjusting to my new life, is that perspective is an action or a choice if you will. Perspective, like everything else, takes work (ugh.. but you might be thinking- I hate work). Really though, the best things in life are those that you have worked for, put time, care, and love into. It’s the tough times you reap the most reward. So why wouldn’t we do this as we approach our own life daily?
It’s taking those moments-either big or small and saying to yourself- I can either sink or swim (maybe not a great analogy for my situation- ok…ok…- if I laugh you can too-it’s all about perspective after all). But funny aside, it is true! I know I can handle just about anything due to my tragedy-even a screaming, noodle-like toddler with a booger nose- isn’t going to get the best of me, because Love is why I am here. As long as I keep that in mind, nothing else matters. It’s stopping in those moments, taking a deep breath and reminding yourself of all the Love you have in your life, and how lucky you are to have it. As easy as that sounds- it’s actually really challenging- because life isn’t fair, we don’t always get dealt the cards we wanted, and it’s easy to focus on the negative.
So in those challenging life moments- both big and small. Step back, take a breath, look around and see all the good that has been placed in your life. Even if it’s not fair or you feel broken- what can you learn from your challenge, what are you missing when you blind yourself to the negative. I know for me, if I would have wouldn’t have stepped back- took a breath and looked around I would have missed this moment…
I am not just talking about the frustration I was having with the three crazies above before the photo shoot. I am talking about the choice I made after our tragedy, and the next day, and the next day after that, and so on, and so fourth. Because without my choice or choices that I make everyday and the work I put in to seeing the Love and Light that I have in my everyday, we wouldn’t be on that bridge with those smiles (except for the dang baby-ha).
As I reflect back the passage that was read at my wedding: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.- Corinthians I now know, that young girl, had no idea how true those words really are.
In closing- Perspective is what you make it, LOVE Period- Enough said!
Life is short but sweet for certain- DMB