When I was a young girl, I would spend at least one week of every summer with my Grandma. She lived about 3.5 hours away. It was such a special time, and I loved being able to spend time with her alone, one-on-one. Just as much as I loved my time with my Grandma, I also so enjoyed my time with my Pappy (grandpa). Pappy was always selected as the person who would drive me home.
Pappy, drove an old Lincoln Town Car with velvet-like seats. He could never hear when he left his blinker on- until about a half- hour in I would cave and yell “Pappy your blinker’s on.” I also harassed him about why he never wore his hearing aids. He also enjoyed a good smoke or two on the ride with the widow cracked a bit, but mostly I loved how we jammed to Frank Sinatra the entire ride home. You see I was my Pappy’s first granddaughter, his “little sweetheart” and we both loved Frank.
Now, where am I going with all these childhood reflections. I kinda feel like I want to “Start Spreading the News”(come on you knew I was going to throw a Frank joke in there- and you did sing it a little didn’t you?). Most little girls don’t love Frank Sinatra- I think I was suppose to love New Kids on the Block. You see it wasn’t Frank I loved, it was the memory and time I was spending with my Pappy. Every time I hear a Frank song I can’t help but go back to that huge Lincoln Town Car, smell the smoke in my nostrils and feel the velvet-like seats in my palms. You see, he was making his “Mark” on me. I’m sure he didn’t realize it, but now over 20 years later it is one of my most favorite memories. Just me, Pappy and Frank cruising through Iowa ( I get it- I didn’t get out much).
My Grandma and Pappy have both passed away many years ago now, but it really has me thinking about what “Mark” do I want to leave on this world and my loved ones. The thing about Widowhood, loss, or experiencing a life changing event is you view every aspect of your life differently. Now, I’m hoping that this life event, loss or whatever your challenge is doesn’t drag you down too long (which is very easy to do). I hope that you can eventually come to a spot where you see a new perspective on life and the “Mark” you leave.
The Katie before Andy’s death would have such a different answer than the Katie after loss (Ugh… I hate referring to myself in the third person-pet peeve). That person always wanted to be liked, please others above self, valued materialistic things to much, and thought she knew what life was about (PS- I do still frequent the mall-ha). I am of course not happy that my husband died, but I am so grateful for my new view on life ( or how it has been cutely called “widow’s perspective”). I was different then, so naive to what life was about. I wish I could have known what I know now without experiencing all the pain (and still experiencing the pain- may I add). That is what I want for you! But without that pain I would not be this person I am today, almost 2 years later. I am embracing this new person and all the knowledge and emotions that loss has brought to me.
So back to my original thought- “How do I want to leave my “Mark” on the this world.” When I pass, (which we all do) what do I want people to say/think about me. It doesn’t have to be big or world shattering, it can be simple as what my Pappy did. He left his “Mark” by making his “little sweetheart” feel special, important, and loved.” I want to do that too! I want to make others feel the love that I did as a little girl, listening to Frank with her Pappy. I want people not to see me but to see Jesus. How does one accomplish this? It’s really simple, all you have to do is accept love and give love. With every interaction, be kind, be loving and make them see Jesus in you. Now in no way does this mean that you should let people take advantage of you, or walk all over you. It just means choose Love over all. That’s just my “Mark” that I strive for daily since Andy’s passing. Do I mess up- Heck to the Yeah! But like Frank says- Pick yourself up Dust yourself off and start over again (sometimes I have to do this hourly or by the minute).
So in closing, (Sorry, I’m feeling an inspiration to get gushy and preachy again) I have a new life perspective. I live with a “Widow’s Perspective.” I really do feel like gained some of the secrets to life and it has just been in front of my (our) face this whole time. Ready… Love! We were sent to Love and to give Love. That’s it. So what is your “Mark” how are you going to reach it? Mine is kinda Jesus -Preachy (deal), what’s yours? If you don’t know, think about it, or ask about it- HE will tell you. You have so many people around you that you love and that love you. What do you want them to remember about you? What is your “Mark?”
Your’s does not have to be the same as mine- we are all different with different gifts- so to wrap up this article Let’s take a moment and let Frank tell us how to do it!
Life is Short but Sweet for Certain- DMB
Katie I love reading your blogs.
I am sure you are not only helping yourself by writing this blog but helping so many others.
I like that you are not afraid to give the credit to where credit is due, God.
Happy Birthday Beautiful Neice!
That car had a life of it’s own. I tried to get Dad to sell it several time but he loved it. Pat and I called it the smoke mobile cause engine started smoking on the interstate. When Dad died I though at least will be able to get rid of that car cause who would want it. To my surprise we had a car stacker who called before, during and after Dad’s funeral wanting to buy that car. In the end, Matt took the car and it became the Big Smooth which also made it mark with his kids.
Kates I also remember you playing Barbra Streisand music once you found out he was not a fan. How you would laugh when Dad would roll his eyes.
Oh it was my favorite- Frank and Barbara had a duet “I’ve got a Crush on you.” I played it all the time on our drives. I loved to bug him, play it, and laugh!